Loving the Frizz

We played on the swing set determining just how we would do it. We could just switch our hair, right? Easy as that. My cousin didn’t like her straight hair. I didn’t like my curly hair. We thought anything was possible.

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That’s my head of hair sitting there on the rock.
The first time I came for a visit in the tropics, a quarter of my suitcase weight was in hair care products. Daily, I’d mousse my hair after loading it with anti-frizz serum and finishing it off with some extra-strength hair spray. You know what that got me? Frizzy hair with a lot of product.

It took a long time, I’ve come along way from that kid on the swing set, but I like my curly hair now, so I’ll take the frizz with it.

When I moved here this time, for the long haul, I knew that I’d have to find an easier hair solution here or else I’d always be transporting my hair mouse, serum, and spray back with me. That gets heavy, especially when you also like to read books and drink good coffee.  I packed a few bottles of mousse and decided that I could forgo the other product and learn to love the frizz.

To my surprise, it hasn’t been as bad as I expected. Here are some of the things I’ve decided to do to keep my frizz tamed and learn to love it:

I don’t wash my hair everyday.

I don’t know the chemical research to this and honestly, for it it started because I was running low on my favorite kind of conditioner and I wanted to save some money. But what I’m finding is, the more oil in my hair, the better the curls hold together and the better the curls hold together, the less it frizzes out. WHO KNEW.

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So … like, everyday?
I brush my hair.

WHAT!? Curly girls rise up and protest! I know, I spent nearly ten years never brushing my hair. Here’s how this one started – our shower drain is bad at catching hair. And I shed, especially while I’m washing my hair, so by the end of our first two weeks living in this new condo, our drain was clogged. I realized that if I brushed my hair in the shower, my hair would come out into the brush rather than go down the drain. So voila! For some reason, my hair seems healthier because of it and my scalp feels really nice too.

Minimal product.

This feels so counterintuitive for me, but it’s true, and again, it saves money. I went back and forth with 3 or 4 brands of hair mousse and I actually settled back on the one I’ve been using for years. (I’m well stocked for now.) It surprised me how much of a difference product can make – but with the mousse I use now, my hair feels soft and has good volume. I keep hearing things about coconut oil too, but for now I’m using that in my dog’s food so I’ll just hold off until I really need it.


My husband and I travel mostly on his motorbike unless it’s raining when we take a cab. Helmets + curly hair = a frizzy mess, even though I feel pretty awesome cruising through the city. One day in traffic I saw another woman on the back of a bike with a scarf covering her hair, under her helmet. GENIUS! I tried it once – pulling my hair back under the scarf and tying them together under my helmet and so far, so good. It keeps my hair in place, keeps it out of the wind, and keeps it from getting rustled by and caught in the helmet padding. Thanks, lady on the bike. You looked pretty awesome too.

Do all the updos!

I searched Pinterest for “quick and easy updos for curly hair.” If it took longer than three minutes, it did not get a re-pin. If I know that during the day ahead, I’ll be on public transportation, the hair must go up. I may risk a down-look if I’m heading to church or the mall, but there’s always a hair tie around my wrist. I found a handful of sites that had helpful tutorials on really easy ways to pull your hair back and keep it that way. Like I said, I also travel with a helmet on my head and my updo needs to stay for that too.

The first few months we lived here, I struggled with insecurity when my hair looked like I just woke up after it dried. But I started noticing something – on the days when I felt most un-beautiful, one of the guards in our building would say to me quietly, while I walked by, “Ma’am, you look beautiful today.” I’m learning that my idea that “frizzy hair = not beautiful” is just that, an idea. It’s not truth. So the other day during a business meeting, when I looked in my reflection in a window and saw what I thought was a disheveled mess on top of my head, I reminded myself that it’s just my perception and that I’m more than my frizzy hair, and I can certainly own it while I’ve got it.