Over a year ago, I was sitting on the couch journaling about our upcoming move.
I wanted terribly to be able to write whole-heartedly, “God is calling me for this specific purpose!” I wanted to point to passage of Scripture and know deep in my gut, “Here is my command to go!” I wanted that to bring me comfort, to make leaving easier. Instead, the ache in my heart was louder than anything. I was leaving my parents, my siblings, my church, my friends. I was leaving the leaves as they began to change and the Atlantic Ocean being just a short drive from my house. I was leaving affordable raspberries, my cousin’s new baby, and a friend who was just diagnosed with cancer.
And I couldn’t quite put to words WHY.
A few years ago, I had a meeting with the director of the group of churches in my area in the U.S. My job encouraged me to meet with church leaders and discuss what God is doing around the world and I always walked away from these times encouraged and having learned something. This one was no exception. As we prayed together at the end of our time, this gentle man who pastored churches for decades and raised four daughters (which is the more challenging task?) prayed words that have always stayed with me: “Lord, I see You using Christine to connect churches and bridge cultures around the world.”
One night a couple of months ago, I stepped out of the gathering as the noises rang loudly in my ears. Combining with the jet lag this was a dangerous combination: I couldn’t think in English, let alone try to understand and use Tagalog. My body felt exhausted while my heart felt full. With the chatter buzzing in the background, I looked up at the sky and the tall buildings looming over. I noticed the streetlights and the unfamiliar architecture. We had just met with a group of Filipino believers in the Middle East.
This is just one glimpse of why. This is only the beginning.
The day I sat journaling, I realized God was giving me an invitation. He was inviting me to a story He was planning where He would use me and teach me. He was offering a life of unknowns and complete certainties. I finished my writing that day with this sentence, and now a year later I am beginning to see its truth: “When the One who calls is the One who goes with and the One who leads, and when He is the One who created and knows – what lies ahead is nothing short of beautiful.”