Today’s guest writer is my sister. She wouldn’t call herself a writer, and I wouldn’t dare limit her creativity to that either. My sister is the kind of person who makes cardboard ukuleles for her entire preschool class. When she met Trent for the first time, she decorated the guest room in American flags (he’s Canadian) and left a Constitution on the bedside table. She never ceases to make me laugh or challenge my views of the world and she’s going to be really embarrassed that I’m bragging about her so much.
Seven years younger than me, Hannah’s the sister I always wanted and had to endure a brother between us to get to (jk, I love you, Eric). Now that we sit in the same decade, I love our growing friendship and how we get to learn from each other.
Recently, Hannah wrote a list of 101 secrets for your twenties, as a gift to a friend. She saw a book by the title online and decided that she could come up with a list herself, and it would save her $10. That’s my sister, creative and thrifty.
This year I’m going to turn thirty. So in honor of my exit from this decade that binds us (I’m still in my 20s for two more months!), I want to share with you THIRTY secrets my sister has discovered to make your twenties awesome.
Note: The book never said they were helpful tips, so she’s not promising that either.
- Have your parents do you taxes for as long as they are willing to.
- They say to separate your whites and dark clothes, but if you put both together in cold water it will probably be okay.
- You need sunglasses in the winter.
- If you ever feel bad for spending too much money, remember that you’re pouring into the economy and making a real difference.
- Don’t pretend you understand politics to someone who understands politics.
- Find a hobby, even if it’s rock collecting.
- Don’t be an idiot, use sunscreen.
- Dont always trust spellcheck.
- Learn another language. Or just get really good at English.
- Don’t kid yourself. Only kids can tell knock-knock jokes.
- Orange you glad I told you to eat bananas.
- Remember to save your documents periodically. Word doesn’t care how long you took to write something.
- Learn to make at least one meal well. Like Kraft Mac & Cheese!
- Valentine’s Day is stupid but don’t be a jerk about it.
- Ketchup isn’t a replacement for tomatoes.
- You probably shouldn’t take real advice from Buzzfeed.
- Marrying rich is life’s only cheat code.
- Flossing is probably more important than it seems.
- Have stickers on hand in case you need to cheer someone up.
- You’re allowed to still count with your fingers. Math is hard.
- Invest in real popcorn kernels. Microwave popcorn is beneath you.
- Don’t judge someone else’s music taste. Unless they listen to Nickelback.
- If you’re bad at lying, don’t lie.
- Always carry a water bottle with you.
- Make friends, but not too many friends. One friend is sufficient.
- Always have a case on your phone. We all know you’re going to drop it.
- Pizza is acceptable to eat for any meal, unless you’re lactose intolerant (the struggle is too real).
- Hug your parents!
- If you don’t know the answer, ask someone. If it’s embarrassing though, you should probably just sneak away and google it. Probably incognito.
- Don’t invest in a timeshare. Wait until your thirties to do that.
Excuse me while I go and research timeshares. Thanks, Hannah.